Don't forget to sing!

As I am preparing to go out of town for 4 days on business, I am trying to tie up loose ends and "work ahead" so nothing is missed while I'm gone. It's my typical MO. Some may call it nesting, but frankly...that fury, stress, frustration, irritation, etc that I feel seems more aggressive than "nesting". Doesn't that word make it sound so calm, organized, and almost loving?  I suppose I wish it felt like that to me, but it doesn't.  I have a vision that one day my life will feel like that, but for now, it is the exact opposite, which is not what I want and it's not good for me. That leaves me frustrated...

My business will be opening in 4 weeks, and there is so much to do with that, so we can open on time with everything and everybody in place and organized. It's the beginning of a new year, so there is all of the year end taxes and corporate documents that have to be prepared. That's stressful for me since I have no accounting background and I'm deathly afraid of making a mistake or forgetting something. All of that on top of my normal daily work makes me wish I had 2-3 assistants. I am quite sure I could keep all of them busy. Just need a windfall to pay the wages of all that help. ha!

I was struggling this evening with being so overwhelmed with my to-do list. I was driving home from my daughter's basketball practice when a couple of great songs came on. I found myself singing to them and immediately started feeling better. I thought to myself, "Don't forget to sing - even during the stressful days". I realized that my day might not have affected me so much, if I had simply turned on some music and sang while I worked. Maybe I'll add that to my MO.

I am ending this day with a bit of fun news though... I signed up via FB to win a cookbook based on the Paleo diet, which is apparently the name of the eating program my son and I are on. No gluten, no dairy, no sugar and for us, no corn. I really didn't expect to win, just gave it a shot! I am excited to make some delicious meals that will be good for our bodies! What a wonderful bright spot to a hectic day!

Half handled projects= too many loose ends!

As my first day along after the holidays nears its last several hours, I am feeling like I've not made one dent in my to-do list. Projects are half completed which doesn't give any sense of satisfaction. The Christmas tree now has the ornaments off of it, but the project is put on hold since it's time to get dinner for the kids before they head off to evening activities. All the remaining Christmas decorations are still up reminding me of all the work I have ahead of me.   I worked through my business tasks today, but as the day went, I added more to my list of projects that what I crossed off. Taxes, W-2's, new salon orders, preparation for meetings, etc. the list goes on... truly, it's like it's never ending. haha! I only hope my energy holds out this evening, so that after the kids are in bed, I can continue working.  Maybe the next time I sit to write my thoughts, I'll be feeling a little less overwhelmed and have more things crossed off of my list.

Holiday hoopla

The holiday has been bittersweet this year for our family. All but one made it home, which is one of my very favorite things. We had 17 in all together and having everyone in one chaotic house, filled with laughter, conversation and love is a highlight for me. The bitter part was/is that my fabulous mother was very ill and ended up in the hospital to have her gallbladder out. She is a pillar of strength in so many ways and such a vibrant person and lively part of our family gatherings, so it's hard to see her in such tremendous pain.
   One thing I love about my family is our closeness and strength when we are together. What a blessing have this happen while we were all together. While mom felt horrible about it, I am happy it happened when we were all here to help each other, share in the support and strengthen each other.
   Balancing family gatherings, work, family "crisis" and holidays isn't easy, but it always seems to fall into place. The unnecessary falls by the wayside, easily forgotten and the true priorities seem to get the attention and get taken care of. In the whole scheme of "Stretch or Snap", it's times like this when it seems easy to snap, yet stretching is what takes place and soon you find yourself back to your "normal" state of  elasticity - somewhat stretched and somewhat relaxed.

It really doesn't matter

With Christmas now a day behind us, I am again reminded that all those things I was stressing about before the big day, really don't matter. The kids had a wonderful Christmas - the "best Christmas ever!" according to my 8 yr old daughter. My son, age 14, loves his rattan swing chair and they are both so ready for bed each and every night. That's how I spell success! Now we will entertain a house of 17 family members, so we'll see how smoothly that goes. While I regret now being able to get every single cleaning task done, I'm sure we'll have a great time.

Why do we stress out about every single detail when we all should know by now that the holidays speed by in a flurry of flying wrapping paper and bows? Christmas letters can easily be called New Years letters, so we have forgiveness for now getting them out before Christmas and any baking not done can be done while company is hanging out in the kitchen area or relatives can make a trip to the grocery store. Most people are thankful for a few minutes away from the chaos and don't give it a second thought.

The simplicity of this causes me to shake my head in embarassment that I allow myself to get so worked up.  So am I the only one who does this ridiculous dance of stress and post-holiday guilt?

Needing to catch a break

It's been forever since I've been able to jump on here. Trying to get ready for family Christmas, which will involve 17 relatives coming into town (which I absolutely love!), prepare for staff Christmas party, have kids underfoot now that school is out and try to keep up with work, has left me..... well exhausted! My husband had an MRI and oncology appt last week in the midst of all of this and it all came back clear. Each time an MRI is done, there is heightened anxiety about the results. From my research, I've learned that about 12-18 months after treatment ends, the cancer sometimes shows back up. His 2nd incident with the brain cancer (1st recurrence), came back earlier than expected, so there is always that part of me that wonders if the next recurrence will also be early. Now that we know all is clear - we wait for the next MRI in 2 months. Until then, we try to keep up with all of the daily demands. I wish I had a cleaning fairy to help ease the burden of the holiday demands, since I'm feeling a bit unsuccessful in the immaculate home department. Seems like I take 1 step forward and 2 steps backward in the cleaning progress. So frustrating.
  In the midst of all of this, I found a couple hours this morning to tend to my actual job of running a salon business. I am working with the contractor on timing for buildout of my third salon and trying to schedule the delivery of equipment and flooring while trying to time Grand Opening marketing strategies.  Ugh! I love this, but the timing of it all, with everything else, adds to the stress and diminishes my holiday spirit.
  Yes, this is a rambling mess today. Just needed to process it and put it out of my head and heart, so I can focus on meeting the family's needs and have a great evening. My son has had a big 3 days of errands with me. Schmoozing every single person he crosses paths with. What a gift he has been given and what a gift he is to me! Exhausting at the same time - having to converse with every single person while trying to get tasks done and stay on schedule. This is why I love the Christmas song by Amy Grant, "I Need a Silent Night". It gives me perspective and calms my holiday stresses.  Merry Christmas to you all! May your holidays be fulfilling, peaceful and centered on the right things and the true reason for the season.

Nope, no time for myself today, but I did get Austin into a clay bath tonight. I googled Bentonite Clay baths for detoxification. They are suppose to be very successful for Austism and removing toxins, whether food, heavy metals, or any other type of toxin. So far, I've only given him 3 baths, but they do seem to work. He was only able to tolerate it for 20 minutes this evening, exactly like his first bath. The second bath lasted 30, which is what we are targeting. Mom has used the Clay internal detoxification method and feels like it works even better, so I'm going to try that with both Austin and myself. I'll keep you posted on how the internal detox goes once we start it.

StretchOrSnap - what will today bring?

Just a little about my world - Not that it's anymore than anyone else has to deal with, it's just my world. I have a son who is 14 yrs old with Cerebral Palsy and Autism. He is globally developmentally delayed and is non-verbal. He is able to walk around, although the Cerebral Palsy makes it somewhat challenging. I have a daughter who is age 8 and is on the opposite end of the spectrum. She's a vivacious, energetic, bright young lady who loves sports, fishing, and all the fun stuff boys like. ha! My husband and I have been married for 16 years. We dated 10 years before that, so we've been together for...a while. Four years ago, he was diagnosed with brain cancer. He had surgery and the tumor was removed. They didn't expect it to come back for about 5 years. Two years later, it was back and the grade of cancer was higher (now a Grade III). Again, surgery removed the tumor, and he underwent radiation and a year of chemotherapy. The chemo ended this last March (2011) and so far, his MRI's have shown no sign of recurrence. I run a business and am in the process of expanding that. Some days I feel like I truly have to be Elasti-mom to make it all work and not just work, but work with everyone being in a healthy part of "happy".  Somewhere in this puzzle is me... struggling with everything I have on my to-do list, and trying to find those things that I can do to keep myself healthy - both mentally and physically. Let's face it, with a long list of to-do's and a family depending on you to meet their needs and wants; our own health and happiness... well, there will be time for that later! Right?