The last couple of years, I've had my up's and down's with our household dynamics. It's been an increasingly stressful situation, but has escalated to the point of little to no communication and certainly absolutely no communication about our "household finances". As a woman in her mid-life years, I find myself feeling no more secure than I did when I was 18 years old. I am reminded nearly every day how little (actually no) control I have over my finances. I deposit my entire paycheck into the household checking account and from that point on, I have no say in where it goes.
I don't mean to sound like I'm on a piti-pot. I'm just frustrated that over the course of many years, I have yet to reach that point where I feel secure financially and that I have a say in the finances that directly affect myself or the kids.
What I feel mostly at this very moment, is that things must change. I've allowed myself to be paralyzed from fear of making changes, fear of making difficult decisions, and fear of failure. I'm tired of being so fearful that I remain in a situation that is so unhealthy.
So...I must begin to gather information, in order to make educated/informed decisions and steps. I can't go through another day doing nothing and allowing myself to be run over and made to feel irrelevant. I need to plan for my future and my kids' future by budgeting and educating myself on my options while trying to plan for the unknowns.
Elastimom
Thanks for the shoulder/ear. One day, I won't have to pour out the "sad song" type of message - I look forward to that day oh so much!
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